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As much as I would have loved to have come up with the perfect title for this, trust me whatever ends up being the title wasn't the initial one. Putting a title on this piece went through some thinking, clearing and changing. I apologize in advance for however this piece turns out to be because in my head right now, writing these thoughts don't follow.

So Ruona hits me up (that's my editor, one of the two) and she says she misses editing my work and asks what has been going on with me as per writing. We talked about some stuff (not to bore you with them) and she advised in her words "just start".

So here's what's up. The idea of having a blog was just to share my thoughts, some of them like I'd say and for the past couple of months, I’ve been thinking a lot. Looking at me you wouldn't know but in my head, a lot was going on. Is it the fact that in exactly two months from now would make it a year that I've missed school or the thought of where my life is headed and the projection of it seeing that I'm supposed to be a graduate by now and how the educational system in my country is messed up? Is it also the fact that I think about money and what I could do with it way too much now? It's like I'm in love because for the past couple of months, when I closed my eyes all I could see were figures and calculations and more times not even in my country's currency. I would also love to know if this is just me but does it seem like sometimes your head goes into a debate and the arguments are "hey you, you don't know time is going ehn, you don't know you have to be up and pushing and make something of yourself, get yourself together". And still, in your head, the other argument is " hey you chill oh, you're still very young and have a lot of life to live and you've got some time". So here is my question. How do you balance this? The day after new year I was talking to my mum and she joked about why I didn't call on the 1st. I told her probably because I was thinking about money and she says " You too" and I said, "Yes oh, me too". She laughed. And she encouraged, advised, and blessed me. Mehn! I love my mom oh! My peace of mind in human form. But I guess my mind doesn't want to get used to the stereotype or belief or saying "Money no dey oh". Inside me, something has always rebelled anytime I hear it.

Those couple of months I think in November I went offline totally. Like I deleted some apps for real including WhatsApp(I'm not saying you should lol). I just needed to clear my head. I loosened up when I needed to. I was in the capital so you can imagine the kind of flex I flexed. There was music and strolling when I needed it. I experienced something truly profound and couldn't let the thoughts of how I felt about her go to waste. Don't ask. So I tried my hands on some new stuff, poetry, and lyrics inspired by her. I can't share because the plan is to make money from it, hopefully. And of course, I prayed.

Thank you for stopping by once more.please do live a comment and tell me what you think of this.And irrespective of how 2020 was,let's keep our hope,faith and dreams alive. Happy new year.

M❤.